My Extended Social Media Break and Unemployment Era: Rediscovering Myself and Moving Forward

How an On-Again, Off-Again Relationship with Social Media and a Job Layoff Helped Me Recalibrate My Post-Grad Life.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Anyone who’s known me for a long time knows I’m no stranger to taking social media breaks. The earliest social media break I can recall was when I was a sophomore at a community college. I was eager to transfer to a 4-year university after earning my associate degree and evolve in my academic timeline. My grades were exceptional, my finances were in check, and time was on my side. Eventually, I lost my grip on the latter. I deleted Instagram and Twitter from my phone and logged out of them on my computer. This went from January of 2018 until June. In those six months, I focused solely on ending my community college years with a bang. Spoiler alert: It was absolutely worth it!

Fast forward to the summer of 2021, I was in the onboarding process for my first big-girl job as a project coordinator at a nonprofit. Right off the bat, an avalanche of tasks landed on my desk and inbox. Whenever friends and family would ask, “So how’s work going? Do you like your new job?” my answer was always, “Well, I feel like a lost puppy.” Here I am out of college with an English degree concentrating in creative writing and my job had nothing to do with that. Instead, I attended meetings, conducted research, took notes, and polished presentations. It was either this job or being unemployed and depressed in my mom’s house for who knows how long?

Social media was my sweet escape from this new phase of life. Instead of being grateful for this opportunity, I would like influencers’ pictures of the lives they worked hard for (at least we think so). The #OOTD (Outfit of the Day) posts featuring brands they’ve partnered with, that delicious latte I’ll probably pick up on my break, and their happy-go-lucky morning routines. Maybe Beyoncé was right. That’s what waking up flawless probably looks like. 

Social media was also a place to validate opinions (or get scrutinized for trying). I grieved with strangers online about the last season of Stranger Things when [Spoiler alert] Eddie Munson was wrongfully killed off. On January 6, 2021, I got my popcorn ready for the circus. The funniest part wasn’t the “I told you so” tweets throughout my timeline but when the Explore page on Twitter crashed. I even jumped in on the meme trend where “XYZ is tighter than the Capitol’s security.” My version of it goes, “Unlocking FaceID on my iPhone with a mask, glasses, and a hijab has tighter security than the Capitol. Memes are my love language. Memes are a blend of communication and comedy. My sense of humor and my everyday interactions is nothing without memes. That meme we’re joking about today will be a conversation starter in five to ten years. Bonus points if they’re SpongeBob memes or inside jokes related to the K-pop boy group Seventeen.

If you’ve ever texted me, you’ve probably seen me attach this meme at least once.

However, the downside of depending on others’ opinions can manifest in an addiction whenever tragedy strikes. This ranges from domestic issues (school shootings, Black people killed by police, wildfires, etc.) to international ones (natural disasters, violence from protests, the genocide of Palestinians, etc.). If you were immune to doomscrolling, you’re lying.

The first breaking point for me was when my Twitter timeline flooded with images of over 600 Afghans overfilling that American military plane followed by a video of citizens holding onto the outer edges of that plane for dear life only to drop to their deaths. Usually, the solution to avoiding triggering content is to turn off autoplay so that you’re not watching one video after another. Meanwhile, at work, we were in crisis mode. We had to prepare for an incoming surge of refugees and be ready to help them navigate the intimidations that come with starting a new life in a place they weren’t prepared to live in.

The noise was pounding my head like a monkey banging cymbals. I needed a “mute” button. Without giving a heads-up, I was off social media for about six months to turn my attention to the responsibilities that avalanched onto my desk. I wrapped up a 10-month-long project to help women in the community launch their businesses with the help of graduate students through a co-op program, led another long-term project where a women’s-only gym was in conception (spoiler alert: a man took over that so you can imagine how that’s going), and attended meeting after meeting. I logged back into Instagram and Twitter in February of 2022 when things slowed down. As summer was approaching, it was time for another company-wide quarterly meeting. That same day, I had a Zoom meeting with HR shortly afterward. Let’s cut to the chase: I would be laid off in two weeks due to low budgeting.

As soon as I hung up, I walked to a park with a giant rock overlooking the baseball field. This was my Pride Rock if I was in The Lion King. The sun wasn’t shining on me that day and my mind was as foggy as the clouds. However, I would not waver. Getting laid off was not going to be the end of my career, but rather the beginning of searching for what was next in store for me. Sing it with me now! 

It’s the circle of life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
’Til we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the circle
The circle of life

My last day was on June 30th. I wanted to slay this job hunt the way I slayed at my last job. However, a couple of weeks into my unemployment era I was going through withdrawals. I missed the direct deposit that slid into my bank account every other Friday and the celebratory “I just got paid!” dance as I would blast “Money” by Lisa of BlackPink on my headphones. I missed my little shared office that was my introvert’s paradise. I even missed tapping my keycard to get into the elevators. Scrolling through Instagram Reels and liking memes on Twitter was what kept my mind off of my grief. I needed a laugh or some reaction that didn’t end up with me remembering that I was now in the Twilight Zone. No matter how you felt about the last place you worked at, you will grieve and that’s okay.

After a couple of therapy sessions and a talk with some friends, I snapped out of it. I wasn’t prepared for what was to come in job hunting but if I never try, then I’ll never know. I logged out of Instagram and Twitter and logged into LinkedIn. As soon as I finished my offboarding procedure, I mentally pressed “mute” and got to work. 

Throughout this hunt, I applied to over fifty jobs. Typically, the average number of jobs people apply to before they land one is about sixty to one hundred submitted applications including networking and rounds of interviews. I wasn’t going to burn myself out. Half of the applications I sent out resulted in ghosting, about 35% were rejections, and about 15% had responses leading to interviews. Ultimately, one led to salary negotiations but I turned down the offer altogether as there were more cons and red flags than pros and green flags. 

This social media break and unemployment era was not all about job hunting. It was about trying new things that I put off during my 9-to-5 life. This was a time for me to reevaluate what I would like to do in my life while making the most of the present.

So, how have I been?

• I’ve hung out with my friends (new and old) in person frequently (upcoming post coming soon!). My friendships have never felt more genuine. This was better than just liking pictures, leaving comments, sending messages, and getting new followers.

• I’m writing again. That includes journaling, screenwriting, and copywriting. I’m writing my debut blog post and you’re reading it. I joined a writers’ group too! If it wasn’t for them, you wouldn’t be reading this! 

• I’m reading more again. The library has become a second home to me (next to Target and my favorite café). I also launched a digital book club for other Muslims like me who are trying to get back into reading.

• I got back into hobbies that I abandoned, such as knitting and sewing. I finished making this sweater last week!

• I’m thinking (critically) again.

• I’m happier than ever. 

I’m grinning ear-to-ear like Arnold here!

In the time I was away, I didn’t miss:

• Comparing myself to others’ picture-perfect façade of life that contrasts with my reality. I don’t travel often or get up at 5a to work out. That’s okay. This puts into perspective that life is not an aesthetic that has to be met. 

• Opening apps as a distraction from a bad day. Instead, I go touch some grass (literally and figuratively).

• The amount of storage those apps took up on my phone and the amount of battery it sucked up like a straw. That means I could take more pictures!

• Chasing sleep.

• My screen time being higher than 100% from doomscrolling.

• The mess Elon Musk made buying Twitter (more on that a little later!).

Of course, I was still a child of the Internet. Whenever I felt tempted to log back in from my break, instead I:

• Joined Reddit. I love honesty and ambiguity. There is no face to a name. Yes, it’s a social media platform but it’s community-based rather than chasing trends and making impressions.

• Found peace and inspiration through Pinterest. My cooking has gotten better thanks to that!

• Subscribed to channels that shared wholesome content such as Dylan Anderson, Cafe Maddy, JavaDoodles, and FriendlyNoodles.

Since I left, Twitter has taken a turn to a downfall. Last time I checked, Twitter was “Twitter” with the bluebird logo. Black Twitter (tagging myself here, guilty!) dubbed it “the bird app” to indirectly refer to it when tweeting memes and the downsides that come with discourses. Twitter used to be my favorite social media platform. I even preferred it more than Instagram since it was a semi-safe space for my humor and intellect. I never had to worry about fitting into an aesthetic and tailoring my posts for likes. This year marks ten years that I have been on that platform. With the way things are going there lately, I think it’s time x out X.

With Instagram, pictures are worth a thousand likes but don’t forget the filters and the hashtags. I posted more on my stories than actual posts. I liked the personalization aspect of posting stories and that I didn’t need likes (at the time at least) to feel validated. Plus, I outgrew Snapchat and quit for good. I had this expectation that I wanted followers to like my posts for me and my mind. Whenever I would post selfies, those would get more engagement than posts related to activism or a day in my life. That’s not to say that I’m not flattered. However, isn’t it telling where people’s priorities are?

Aside from pictures to likes, Instagram has introduced Threads which is supposed to be an alternative to the dumpster fire of X. The only “threads” I know nowadays are Reddit threads and the kind that goes through needles.

This is the longest social media break I have ever taken. Would I ever do it again and break my record next time? That’s a possibility I would not mind taking. There are days when I mentally map out what I will do if I return. Until then, I love this extended “mute” challenge.